BRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr

It is 30 degrees outside today but it feels like 5. It was a rather rough day on the homefront despite Norah's going to school in the morning. Harvey and I did have some fun together in the morning. I went to Short Hills to make some returns and was, again, horrified at our society's love of consuming. I used to go into malls like this and feel at home, a sense of calm would literally waft over my whole body. Now, I get panic attacks when I see women wandering around the mall with gigantic bags full of all kinds of things, things, things.

SO, I am going on a retail FAST (not just a yarn diet, but yarn is included). I looked back at my January credit record to figure the last time I bought a thing (yes, this thing was yarn, my latest obsession). On January 18th, I bought some needles and yarn at Modern Yarn. SO, I am not going to buy anything for myself or my kids (that we do not absolutely need) for one whole month. However, I do have some outs---I have credits at Neiman Marcus, BuyBuyBaby, Lord and Taylor, and the Gap. Purchases I make against those cards don't count! I am actually really looking forward to my time while Jenise is here tomorrow. usually I spend that time shopping and then feeling bad about it. Not tomorrow and not for the next month. I am going to get things done that I have needed to do for a long while--send a box to Tol full of the clothes that she loaned to me for Harvey, get Norah's passport photos taken, change my name to Tripp at the bank, etc... And when I run out of things that I have to do (this wont happen tomorrow), I am going to sit down with a warm drink at Starbucks or at the library and knit and knit and knit.


I took this photo of Norah and Harvey at the park today. I love how it captures a moment ad our lives right now all at once.

Breakfast in Brooklyn

We braved the cross city trek to Brooklyn this morning to see Auntie Weenie and Uncle Paul. My cell phone is dead--officially I think this time--so we didn't call. Just showed up at their door and, because they are childless, they were still asleep at 9:30 (those were the days...) But they were happy to see us. Paul cooked breakfast-a yummy flax seed, rice and egg concoction, some empanadas, granola and yogurt. It was seriously the breakfast of kings.

It was so fundamentally fulfilling seeing Weenie again. I feel like I have wasted so much time here in the Northeast NOT seeing her. I am going to change that in the next few weeks/months. I left feeling warm and cold at the same time. Norah and Harvey slept on the way home and then Norah did the TRANSFER and slept for another hour. We then went to Meri and Mark's for pizza with Liz and John too. It was a cozy, friendly day.


AND I wore my cozy, friendly fingerless gloves. I started them out of my Charlene's Lumpy Bumpy yarn in Natural yesterday and I finished them yesterday. They are actually the first thing I have ever made for my self and I LOVE them. I got a compliment from the first person I interacted with this morning (the barista at Starbuck's, as usual).

Winter at the Park

Winter at the Park
Originally uploaded by nssmith2020

I was determined to get the kids out of the house today. The Northeast has been FREEZING cold the past few days so we have been confined to the indoors and I really wanted Norah and H to get some, clean, refreshingly chilly air pumping through their lungs today so we headed to the park. It turns out, I set my hopes too high and I think I nearly froze my children. Before setting Norah free to romp at the playground, I did a couple of laps around Edgemont Park. On my second lap, I noticed two boys, around the ages of 8 and 10, walking over a not completely frozen pond (ducks were still swimming in it). I don't know much about walking on frozen ponds--when it is safe and when it is not--but this felt really REALLY wrong to me. I stopped jogging and asked the boys to be very careful. Their reply was that they knew and they were staying close to the edge. Well, I continued to watch them and was even formulating a plan to rescue them if something happened. My heart was racing as they kept going further and further out into the pond. Finally, a police officer driving by spied them and pulled over. I saw her call to them and then eventually they left with her. Why didn't I say something more? Why did I let them continue playing? I have been really upset with myself about this all day.

The morning went well. I was going to head to Short Hills but avoided the retail therapy (and latent anxiety) with a meltdown from Norah. Instead, I went to get coffee, came home, and out them both back to bed. They slept for two hours!! I knitted and knitted and knitted and search etsy obsessively. I am getting close to being done with Harvey's Christmas stocking. I actually think I am going to cast on the fingerless gloves this weekend even though I still have three projects on my needles. The gloves and accompanying hat should be fast and easy. I need them now and I also nee the satisfaction of finishing something.

Meet Norah and Harvey

I had the greatest day with my kids today. Jenise came this morning which meant that I took Norah to Music Together without Hoiyo. I was sorry that H did not get to go to music class but it was good to get some alone time with Norah. After that, I dropped Norah off and went to the library, the library---ahh what a place. There was something so completely comforting about being inside the building. Because I normally spend the time I have alone shopping--spending money, getting retail therapy, I thoroughly enjoyed this time. I did not come home with any anxiety, I did not have any buyer's remorse--I just had three knitting books and three videos

When Norah and Harvey woke up, we went to Liz's house for a nice break from the norm. norah mildly tormented Markos and Hoiyo roamed around their living room entertaining himself. Liz fed them dinner so we went almost straight to the bath when we got home. They LOVE the bath. Hoiyo was trying to climb into the tub in the picture.

Now I am heading into a long night of knitting. I am still working on Harvey's stocking, my Koigu socks, and Shack's baby sweater.

Stormy

So today I did a great deal of thinking about Brian's dreams of going away to France for an extended stay before embarking on another job adventure... I think, I THINK, I think I can do it. It scares me--scares the hell out of me really, but this is something that is really important to him so maybe I should help him make it happen.

On other fronts, I took Stormy in to get physical therapy today and found that we are going to have to get an MRI for her. The doctor thinks that she needs to be screened for cancer. I feel like this is just very serious arthritic pain but I am going to do exactly what he tells me to do and that means ol' Stormy is going to get an MRI.

For the rest of the day, the kids were napping on an alternating basis. Norah is still recovering from the excitement of Saturday--she went for her nap at 10:30 today and slept for two hours. Because I was home bound, I had a real homemaker of a day. I folded three loads of laundry, cooked and cleaned up. Norah and I made up songs and all three of us laughed at a tea bag. For some reason, they THRILL Harvey.

A Therapeutic Breakfast

We had friends over for breakfast this morning--therapist friends. What a relief/anxiety inducer it is to talk about your stuff in an open setting it can be. Many of my days are spent without in an in depth look amongst friends at my own issues and how they affect my life and those around me. So this morning, we really dove in--parent issues, self-help, obsessions, coping mechanisms, etc... I was really proud to be married to Brian this morning as he can really hold his own in these kind of conversations. Sadly though, it did not feel like much of a catharsis after the fact. I think I feel more anxiety than I did when I woke up this morning....

The Winter of Chamomile and Milanos

I do not think I would survive this winter without them. Each night I excitedly open my bag of milanos while sipping my Celestial Seasonings Chamomile Tea with my knitting sitting beside me. I don't know how I devour the whole bag in one or two short hours but I do. My favorite time of night is when I sit down in front of my knitting after having cleaned up (washed the dishes, wiped the counters, loaded the dishwasher, started a wash, etc...). I look at the clock--generally it is before 7:30 and I cozy up and get ready for a long night of knitting and listening to podcasts or talking with Brian.

I have not gotten much sleep lately so I am particularly looking forward to that time tonight. Norah has officially entered into the terrible twos. She went into her first time out for a long time this morning after she hit me in the head with a swing twice. Harvey is smiling a lot, cruising around on furniture and, in general, making his presence more known than ever.

Tonight I am going to make baby back ribs for the family with some good leafy green veggies. I have noticed a marked increase in my depression and anxiety since I stopped paying attention to our diet over the holidays. i am starting the fish oil again and need to get back into a running routine. Ahhh...the things we need to do.

Getting An Early Start

I think have learned a little something about holiday knitting--start in January. I started Harvey's Christmas stocking a couple of weeks ago but really got into the groove of it today while Norah and Harvey's Nonna was here with them this morning. I am going out to dinner tonight with a couple of friends and am going to bring it along. This is going to be my first felted project and I have three more stockings in the queue after it (from Norah, Brian and myself).
I haven't done much cooking over the past couple of days as we are still feasting on the lentils that I made last week. Those are finally running out so i think tomorrow I will try something new. I am going to bring my Barefoot Contessa to Whole Foods tomorrow and go to town. My three babies have been eating some really bland stuff lately--outside of the lentils. I have even resorted to pasta in shapes of starts.

Knitting for Three

I never thought that I would see the day when I was staying home with two babies, cooking, cleaning (err--not too much of this), and knitting for my small family in our tiny corner of the world. Much to my complete surprise, I am really loving this stay at home mom thing, sometimes despite myself.