Dandelions Calling

The changing of the seasons, of winter into spring in this case, is a real reminder of the fleeting nature of our lives. It is so much less about "out there" than it is about right here, now, this very moment.

I do know this, and even when I don't, I get reminders of it all of the time, like here, and here and here.  But somehow despite the seasonal reminders, the darn near constant calls back to the moment by my children, I still slip back "out there," and away from the fullness of the now.

These glorious spring days, though, have been reigning me in, insisting that I stay closer to my breath, to my kids, to the ground, to what is around me right now.  I have been a better listener and , oh the stories they have told!

A Calming Kind of Quiet

Today my mind was swirling, and it was the kind of swirling that takes me off guard, that sneaks in, nearly blindfolds me, and leads me down a path that I know well, but when I am a-swirl (and blindfolded!), I don't know where I am going until I get there.  And then I don't know how to get back.  Except I do.  I found my way back today.

Oh that twistly, twirly ragged path that I get on sometimes--littered with insecurity, with self-doubt, with all kinds of ugliness.  If I just stop, take a look around, sniff the air, feel the ground beneath my feet, I can find my way back to my place of my own.  And no one even has to lead me there.

Putting On My Shoes

Today I was inspired to think about myself because yesterday I did not (and yesterday was not unlike most of my days). You see, the general state of "me" affairs is pretty abysmal--my bangs need trimming, my eye brows need plucking, and, sadly, my teeth need brushing. I look bad and I don't smell great either. Baby spit up and other childlike bodily fluids don't make for a great fragrance. Go figure.
And to make matters worse, I watched Coco Before Chanel with my own mama last night and was forced to stare at Audrey Tatou's truly stunningly beautiful face for over an hour.

There has been a lot of talk lately about nurturing ourselves. A few weeks ago, Heather posted about her "spa" day where she and her girlfriends got together to take care of themselves and one another. Soulemama wrote today about one hour each week that she takes for herself to dance. My mom just went off to Yoga class, and I am jumping on this bandwagon. My shoes aren't nearly as cute as Amanda's but they get the job done.

January 2

More for 2010:

{keep trying 1-2 new recipes a week}
{work on positive discipline without timeouts and threats}
{reuse my Starbucks cups}
{sew clothes for the kids}
{slow down}
{breathe more}
{take a moment at the end of the day for gratefulness}
{pay attention to myself}
{think before I speak, breathe}
{keep on working on me}
{get stronger}
{carry on}
{be me}
{respond}
{set limits}{don't hide behind them}
{be present}
{give up control}
{love.love.love. be guided by it}

January 1

in 2010, I want to
{stay connected with friends}
{knit something for myself}
{finish that sweater for Brian}
{take a photography class}
{meditate}
{continue meal planning}
{eat more veggies}
{eat less at night and more during the day}
{breathe}
{be authentic, always, despite the consequences}
{garden}
{blog more}
{run}
{stay put}
{drink more water}
{go camping with the kids}
{go to a fiber festival}
{spend time in upstate NY}
{and again, stay connected}
{look presentable}
{entertain}

Quotable Sunday

"The breath is the current connecting body and mind, connecting us with our parents and our children, connecting our body with the outer world's body. It is the current of life. There are nothing but golden fish in this stream. All we need to see them clearly is the lens of awareness."

Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are

Meditation and The Art and Science of Doing Nothing

I have been doing a lot of thinking about how to do (or not do) this lately. With a little professional help and some good reading, I am starting to get the hang of it.

I am notoriously bad at being in the moment--I hold grudges, I dwell in my emotion, I hang on and on and on. Additionally, I feel as if I always have to be going. I rarely notice my surroundings and am often stunned at Brian's noticings of what is around us/ has happened to us. Having kids has slowed me down a bit but it is something I still need to work on. Adding a third child has helped!

So I have spent some time lately looking around. Breathing a little more slowly. Noticing my tension and letting it go. There are some things that help me with this--my kids (what an example they are!), the outdoors, exercise