In her Easter basket, my daughter got a book I have always wanted to read, The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes. If you haven't read it, it tells the tale of an aspiring Easter Bunny mama bunny and her 21 baby bunnies. This mama bunny, with a whole house full of babies, has each one of her children dutifully running the house.
I do realize that this is fiction (although I have decided that I want my life to be exactly like mama bunny), but it did make me think about what I could expect from my own children if I simply asked (or told, rather). They are expected to clean up after themselves, and I do my best to make sure one activity is closed out before we move onto the next (which is not easy for I myself have a hard time with focus). They have to put away clean laundry, deposit all of their dirty clothes into a laundry basket (this has been a struggle, even for Daddy), and bring all of their dishes to the sink after eating. But there is little beyond this.
There is a host of things that I think they could do: take out the compost, feed and water the chickens, make their beds, wipe he counters, etc..., but I suppose I do not know where to begin. I am not sure I want to offer an allowance for doing what I consider to be simply what is expected in our home. The problem is, right now, I don't expect it and therefor I do it all.
All of this makes me wonder what those of you with children expect from your own kids in and around your home? Clearly the expectations change with age. If you have any special words of advice or practical solutions, please share.
4 comments:
We have divided chores into following: keeping the floors clean and vacuumed, folding and putting away clothes, doing dishes and kitchen cleanup, making lunches for the next day, and helping with the little kids. The jobs need to be done daily for a week at the time, then they rotate. Older kids do the chores on their own mostly and younger ones pair up. We don't have animals, but there is quite a bit of work to be done here. Lots of helpers too... Mostly, it works out well with lots of reminders. I don't know if that helps you at all, for every family functions differently. Good luck!
I'm so looking forward to the responses. We tried allowance and chores at the start of the year and I was overwhelmed by the amount of nagging I was doing so that died. I've started to institute a Monday cleaning morning and I'm amazed how often they want to help. Not always, but most of the time. And we have the other general rules like you do. Thanks for starting the conversation!
We haven't come up with a good routine for chores. They are expected to help out when asked and that happens often during the day but I'd like to set up more of a scheduled approach so it doesn't land on me to direct/encourage/remind...and nag. I'll have to check back to see what others have to say about this...I could use some advice, too!
This is such a balance issue. My six year old is starting to get it, my four year old could care less, and my year and a half year old cleans up to the tune of that horrible "clean up, clean up" Barney song we've all known for a decade.
We spend a lot of time talking about finding joy and rhythm in the pieces of the puzzle that make our house a home. We try to talk about what needs to be done, and how we all benefit from such action: dog bowls empty, shoes out of bin, strewn across floor are a trip hazard to a new walker. We play loud music, we see how many new dance moves we can come up with as we sweep. It takes A LOT of energy. I have crazy "tools" like Swifter Dusters that make dusting fun with the magic dusting wand. We talk about what we can do for super-fun after our work is done. Of course, I wish it could happen without all this glitz, words of encouragement. My only level of comfort is that finally, after a few years, my six year old is finding things that need done on her own, and not expecting a pat on the back or candy (much like 4 yr old sister, "I just fed the cat. don't you think you should give me a cookie for all my hard work?!"). It's tough. Check back in four years, I 'll let you know how it's going. Maybe I'll be in the hammock, sipping lemonade, as they weed the garden and wash the floors. Well, maybe not.
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