A Calming Kind of Quiet

Today my mind was swirling, and it was the kind of swirling that takes me off guard, that sneaks in, nearly blindfolds me, and leads me down a path that I know well, but when I am a-swirl (and blindfolded!), I don't know where I am going until I get there.  And then I don't know how to get back.  Except I do.  I found my way back today.

Oh that twistly, twirly ragged path that I get on sometimes--littered with insecurity, with self-doubt, with all kinds of ugliness.  If I just stop, take a look around, sniff the air, feel the ground beneath my feet, I can find my way back to my place of my own.  And no one even has to lead me there.

Thankful Thursday

Joining in again with Kerry today...

When I realized that today was Thankful Thursday instantaneously I knew what I would write about.  With our oldest of Kindergarten age next fall, much of my time has been spent lately pondering our options regarding schooling.  I have been reading, talking to friends, and mulling things over with my husband mostly.  So today I am thankful for the options that are offered to us in this incredibly unique and diverse country that we live in.  I am grateful to those that came before us, whose independent spirits laid the groundwork for much of what is possible in the United States today.  

Grateful Thursday (on Friday)

Joining in with Kerry again.

I was sitting downstairs on my living room couch yesterday thinking about our Thursday gratefulness.  Thinking of what I was most grateful for right in that moment while middle was upstairs in my room playing with tin soldiers that were my brother's, and before him, my father's.  Oldest was occupied in my craft room with a dollhouse that one of my grandpas built and painted and the other furnished with tiny wooden pieces made with his very own hands.  And I thought--I am thankful for the history, a shared history, here in our home where we can hold tight to where we come from and at the same time, let go a little too.  Make new games, new worlds, new histories.  Not just in our one little house but in all the homes that came before us and the myriads that will follow.  I am thankful for our place in time, thankful for what has come before and and for all that will come to be.

Thankful Thursday

Kerry of Young Ones has dedicated all of her Thursday posts until Thanksgiving to expressions of gratitude and I am going to join along.  Today I am thankful for so much, for the big and for the small, for the lasting and for the fleeting and more specifically for:

• a day off from nursery school for my two older children
• the rain--it kept us inside and together
• paper and crayons and the budding artist in my middle child
• high heels for my oldest to don
• my husband, his open heart and open mind
• the smell of bread
• and for our baby's new word "ug-ok" or truck

Focus on the Now

There are so many many events upcoming in our lives right now (a visit from family, some visits to friends and family, a move away from, a move to, a settling in, a new baby) that I am finding it hard to stay present and to enjoy the moments happening right now. The coming spring, my active children and this post are all reminders to revel in the present. Soule's post has inspired me.

Right now, I am


bemoaning the dying of the first spring flowers.

loving Seastar Community Acupuncture. Catherine Lowe, my acupuncturist and a certified midwife, is so attentive to my needs and very receptive to any questions that I may have. She and my midwife Linda Glenn have provided me with medical care that has surpassed any of my expectations. I have renewed faith in my body and mind--as corny as it sounds, it is true.

dreaming of the chicken coop that we are going to build in our new backyard (not really in the now, but still so much fun to think about)

eating Starburst candies by the handful (your fault, Aunt Donna!)

feeling kick, kick, kick

Grateful Thursday

One of the best parts of my day is our (or my) morning breakfast. I learned from my mother that if you fill the coffee pot the night before and all you have to do is press on in the morning for your coffee to magically appear, it can make a whole world of difference in your day. So, my dark, strong coffee in the morning with plain whole milk yogurt, granola and honey is just exactly the way that I want to start my days. Just exactly.

Grateful Tuesday

I have been trying to devote some thought these days to what I am grateful for. Sadly, I am not so used to doing this. I do a lot of thinking about what I wish I had, what it would be like if, and not about what I do have.

1. I am grateful for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. With BBQ Kettle chips. And pickles.


2. I am grateful for community acupuncture here in Portland. The treatments are extremely inexpensive. Not sure if they are effective yet but I am giving them a shot.

3. I am grateful for my newly repaired camera. Not so sure that it is focusing as well as it used to but it is in my hands and that makes me happy.