Wednesday Reviews: Making a Family Home

For those of you who don't know, I have a problem. This bookshelf of mine is continuing to grow at break-neck speeds. I can't stop. Amazon is just so good at making recommendations and the choice are nearly limitless. What about the library, you say? Yes, I know but it just isn't nearly as much fun. I am at least reading them now. Throughout our year in Portland, I simply acquired them but never had the stamina to even make it through one.

Making a Family Home by Shannon Honeybloom is the latest to move on and off my nightstand. I could not wait for this one to arrive and immediately picked up up after finishing Simple Home. I really wanted to love it. I am always looking for ideas on how to make my home feel a little cozier than it is and or ways to put it together more cohesively. I have grand ideas but have no idea how to make them work in a space. I was hoping that this book would be the answer to all of my Waldorfy decorating woes and it just was not. The book contains some stunning photography of Honeybloom's home and family and for a reader who is not familiar with Waldorf notions about play spaces, toys, natural materials, etc... this would definitely be a worthwhile read. Unfortunately for me, very little of the material was new. I do appreciate what the author has to offer--gentle advise on why to turn the t.v. off, the importance of eating together as a family, etc... It is pretty easy to come off the wrong way and, for me, she does a great job of not being preachy, of being a human with ideas on how she wants to raise her family. I like than and I think I would like her; I just didn't love the book.

Wednesday Reviews: Simple Home

My reading lately has been limited to interior design books--subject matter that has never intrigued me before our house renovation project. I occasionally picked up design magazines and then felt mildly embarrassed about reading them. As of the past few years, I have become less of a "fake" adult and more interested in the color, texture, and overall feel of my home.

The Simple Home is divided into sections mostly devoted to certain spaces in the home--the entryway, kitchen, workspaces, etc... Throughout the book are examples of how to repurpose materials and revalue pieces that are old and forgotten. The authors also make some color, floor covering and tile suggestions for their "simple home." For me, some of the rooms they showcase are a little too austere, too sterile for my taste. I am not a fan of concrete floors, for example, and walls of exclusively cool colors are just a little too cool for me. But there are some lovely suggestions as well. I love their suggestions for sheer window coverings and how to add texture to a room with homemade/ handknit items.

Overall, the book has helped me form my own opinions/ ideas about how to proceed in our new house.

Wednesday Review: The Birthday Book

January and February are big months for us--one turned four and one is about to turn three (although his behavior indicates that he has been three for some weeks now--I thought I knew what was coming with this one, and I was.very.wrong). Some birthday planning is underway. There are going to be rocket ships (or lions? or princesses? I think I am going to have to take over the decision-making here) , cupcakes (or a cake?), friends (or wait, yes I did hear yesterday a resounding "NO, I DON'T like my FRIENDS" accompanied by some jolting body movements and lips sticking an inch or two out from his face), Grandmas, and revelry (we hope).

I bought The Birthday Book a few months ago, started reading it and then lost focus. Despite my best efforts to prepare ahead of time, I am best under pressure. This book is written and organized quite well. Although many of the ideas have been described before, they laid out well which makes it a great go-to resource for party-planners who are looking for specific ideas for a 9 year old's birthday, for example. While I will likely never read the book from cover to cover, I betcha I will open it up every year at this time of year.

January 27: Wednesday Reviews

This week I have been dabbling in a few books, one on child development, another on home design, and I end each night reading about a famous chef's kitchen in Great Kitchens.

In our renovation, my husband and I are trying to keep it really simple-- we don't want a lot of cabinetry, we don't need or want a subzero refrigerator or a Viking range; we want a warm place for our children, our family, and our friends to gather. Lots of wood, hanging pots, utensils stored around the stove, some movable furniture, etc... There are some fantastic ideas in this book though. One of the chefs spotlighted is Alice Waters. She has a wood burning stove that would be incredible to have. Not sure what one does with a wood burning stove (and clearly I am not a candidate for one given my inability to cook oatmeal in a slow cooker) but wow does it look cozy. There are kitchens that are, in my opinion, over done and kitchens that are so rustic they might have existed hundreds of years ago in this book. I am enjoying my nightly reading about kitchens more than I ever thought I would.

January 25: At Night

My husband travels about 8-10 nights out of the month. That means that 2-3 days each week I spend alone. I mean, well, alone in the a four year old, a three year old, and a six month old with one mama kind of way. During those days, I try to take in the small moments and many times throughout a day I can. There are also many times that I am just biding my time until they fall asleep and I can sit and sit and sit. I especially enjoy the quietness of the evenings when B is here, when we can just be together in our quietness or in our conversation. Much of the time we have a Netflix documentary playing, hopefully one compelling enough to bring me out of my nighttime stupor. We just watched this one and I am half way through this one at the moment. Then there are nights when B is on the road and here I am. There is something almost sacred to me about the nights I spent alone in this house with my three sleeping babies. Tonight especially. The stillness, the breathing, my tea and the darkness.

***

On another note, my slow cooked oatmeal for the Monday Cooking Challenge was a Tuesday morning disaster. It was a thick brown soup resembling oatmeal only in smell. I am going to try this one again, just have to research what went wrong

January 24: Quotable Sunday

"Housework is regarded as scut work, couples argue over who has to do it, and somehow cooking has gotten tarred with the same brush. However you feel about housework, keep in mind that cooking is nurturing. Whoever gets to do the cooking gets the best job."
Ellyn Salter
Child of Mine

January 20: Wednesday Reviews

I ordered The Family at Home a couple months ago and have been anxiously awaiting reading it since then. "Reading" it is just such a pleasure. There is not a lot of text, but what is there is meaningful. Anita Kaushal is a designer and mother who offers ideas on how to make our "nests" both stylish and functional (i.e. livable with children).

I love many of suggestions and adhere to a few of them already--she suggests putting pieces that you love around, rather than stowing them on a shelf somewhere to be viewed by others. Some things get broken, yes, but most of it is not beyond repair. Many of the rooms she spotlights are very modern--this is an aesthetic that I once loved and am ow moving away from in favor of warmer, homier looks. She also suggests keeping a lot of photographs around to remind us of our past and our future. For me, though, too many photographs (large ones, especially) feels indulgent somehow. I always enjoy looking at pictures in homes of others, but in my own home, I prefer fewer of them.

The Family at Home is probably not a book that I will go back to again and again. Much of the material is not new to be, but the photography is stunning and it has been fun to spend my nights imagining my own family living.loving.laughing within the walls she pictures.

January 17: Quotable Sunday

"Children feel valued when they are allowed to make their own mark and contribute to their surroundings... A child's portrait reminds us of a moment in time and can turn a dull corner into a space that makes you smile."

Anita Kaushal
The Family at Home

January 13: Wednesday Reviews

After taking a few years off from reading my own books, I am diving in again. I reentered the book world last year with Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth and what a reentry that was! Before starting the book, I had settled on a group of nurse practitioner midwives that delivered babies out of a beautiful hospital in Portland. By the time I finished the book, I was going to have a homebirth in New Jersey.
I distinctly remember finishing the book as I was crossing back over the country on an airplane after a weekend spent house hunting in New Jersey. When I got home, I explained to my husband that I had become quite serious about having our third baby at home. The book convinced me to actually think about the way I wanted our child to come into the world, something I didn't really do for the others (sadly). I love her list of questions at the end of the book and used them in interviewing the midwife that delivered Little C in August.

January 10: Quotable Sunday

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

{Robert Frost}

January 6: Wednesday Reviews

In an effort to bring a little rhythym into my blogging life, I am going to be doing some regular posts throughout the month of January. Once Upon A Parent and I are going to cook up a new recipe each week and post about it on Mondays. She already has one going over there. Yummm. I will start next week.

Wednesdays are for book reviews. Most of my posts will likely cover parenting or children's books because those two categories cover nearly everything that I read these days, but I thought I would start with one that I just finished: The Happiness Trap.

My therapist recommended this book to me about a year ago. I bought it immediately and it sat on my shelf for over 10 months as I suffered through the most powerful, most potent depression of my life. It is a self-help book and, in general, I have thought those silly, somewhat frivolous. The cover scared me even more. I should not have been scared.

The book is well written and easy to read. The author is and Acceptance and Commitent therapist, a practice based on mindfulness. The author suggests ways to breathe into your emotion, ways to defuse negative thoughts. He helps you clarify your life values and set goals that are attainable. It has taken me nearly a month to finish this book because there was a lot of thinking that had to be done along the way, a lot of good work. A lot more of that good work ahead of me.

For now, I am thankful for some ideas.

Breadmaking and Home

After two happy weeks spent with family in Texas, we returned home this weekend. Most of it was spent unpacking and rediscovering the wonders of our house. Today we dug in and enjoyed. We played, we knitted, we slept, and, perhaps most homey of all, we made bread. Generally we bake bread on Fridays--a day when everyone is home from school and we have nothing planned. We made the bread today instead so that we could enjoy the fruits of our labor our first week back.

We mixed, we kneaded, we rolled, and we shaped. There is something so therapeutic about kneading bread, so truly relaxing. There are many times throughout my days that I struggle to be in the moment. I have to remind myself to stay present, to stay awake to my environment. Not when I am kneading bread. In fact, it is almost impossible for me to think about anything other than the feeling of the dough between my fingers, the warmly yeasty smell that it is releasing all around. I would make bread for this experience alone.

I use the basic bread recipe from the Tassajara Bread Book. The sweeteners that I add vary--today we added blueberry honey, the last time brown sugar. Tomorrow morning we will enjoy...

Quotable Sunday

Hey, hey Woody Guthrie, I wrote you a song
'Bout a funny ol' world that's a-comin' along.
Seems sick an' it's hungry, it's tired an' it's torn,
It looks like it's a-dyin' an' it's hardly been born.

--Bob Dylan--

Good Reads

Ahhh, the pleasure of reading. I had almost forgotten it. Two babies in nearly one year, a move across the country, some sadness, a move back and another baby--nearly three years spent not doing one of the things I love doing the most. Oh books of mine, don't ever let me leave you for such a long time again.

I finished Elkind's book Miseducation a few days agoa dn found it to be very informative--another angle on the importance of play in early childhood. This book was written in the 80's and some of it is irrelevant today. For instance, nearly all of the preschools these days are play-based rather than driven by a "curriculum." However, just Sunday, the NY Times featured an article on test prep for nursery schoolers. David Elkind would certainly classify this as "miseducation." The book helped give me a language for suspicions I already had. Very glad to have read it.

I have just recently picked up The Happiness Trap. My therapists recommended this book to me over a year ago; I was a bit scared off by the "self-helpiness" of the cover. However, recent events and a fundamental trust in what the books espouses (ACT-Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) have led me back to it. I love the book so far.

And many more book reviews to come...

Quotable Sunday

It's not a matter of letting go—you would if you could. Instead of "Let it go," we should probably say "Let it be."


Jon Kabat-Zinn

Child Work

Harvey and Norah have recently both taken a leap of independence. Harvey now puts on his own coat ("flip it, Harv!"), Norah has begun cleaning, and both of them have learned to clear the table after dinner (ok, so I bribe them with Halloween candy, but still...). All of this has significantly lightened my load--we get out of the house that much smoother when there is one less jacket to put on and it is amazing how much better I feel when I come downstairs after bedtime to a cleared and cleaned table.

In general, I have been inviting the kids into my daily work more than ever. Instead of trying to find things to entertain them while I am cleaning, I got them a broom. Cleaning up the playroom can be about tidying up their "home." A rearranging of some ideas in my head had to take place, though, for this to happen. When my kids are involved cooking dinner is not about quickly getting it on the table; rather it becomes an activity that we start together an hour or so before we eat.

Some great reading on involving your kids in household tasks::
Heaven on Earth
Work and Play in Early Childhood

More Good Reading

Every night around 9:30 my husband and I trek upstairs after watching our nightly Netflix documentary (right now we are watching this one) to enjoy a half hours worth of reading time together underneath a cozy down comforter. For over three years I nearly stopped reading. The challenges of mothering just made extinct my formerly voracious appetite for books. Funnily, though my book reading stopped, my book buying did not. Consequently I have an almost full bookshelf of never been read and barely even been touched books just waiting for me. I get so excited when I finish one book and get to go "shopping" on my shelf for another one. Really. I do so little shopping any more that this is sheer joy for me.
My latest "purchase" is David Elkind's Preschoolers At Risk.
. The book is a bit outdated (I believe it was published in the late eighties) but there is still much value in the author's argument. He thinks that in our efforts to create "superkids" (by sending our kids to skill-driven preschool programs, for example) that we are depriving them of their childhood, asking them to be too grown up too fast. Before reading this, I had thought much about how to ensure that my kids get to stay kids--now I am thinking about it even more.

Quotable Sunday

To raise children who, as young adults, can freely create their life as they envision it-- this is our task. We do this by fashioning a space in which, with a delicate balance of guidance and freedom, our children can discover who they really are.

Sharifa Oppenheimer
Heaven on Earth

Reading Again

Ahhhh, to be reading again. Don't ask me why I have chosen to pick up reading again just after having my third baby because this hardly seems like the time, but maybe it is just the perfect time after all.

I have some good fiction books on the shelf--I have been waiting for what seems like forever for this one, and I started and really liked this one last spring, and a good friend has recommended this one. The latest books that I have read, however, have been nonfiction and the ones that are queued up next are all nonfiction as well.

Currently, I am in the middle of Children at Play. I picked this up at Powell's last year, started it and then put it down for a variety of reasons not related to the book, now it is on my bedside table again. One reviewer of the book stated that the chapter on dolls alone made the book worth the purchase. I have to say that I completely agree. Much of the material in the book was not new for me, but the suggestions the author makes about dolls being an embodiment of the child (how, for instance, dolls should be put to bed, rather than in a basket or toy box out of respect for what they represent) were thought-provoking.

Before this book, I read Seven Times the Sun. I loved the practicality of this book- the examples of daily "rhythms" at the end were particularly useful for me. Although the literal application of much of the material to our own family life would simply not work for us, we could mold them to make them our own.

I also read Beyond the Rainbow Bridge. For me, this book was the easiest to digest. Her writing style is casual and the FAQ section at the end of each chapter answered many of my own questions.

All in all, I am having a ball of a time working my way through my Amazon purchases from last year. More on this in a few weeks...

A Knitting Frenzy

I have been struck with the knitting bug lately- a strong urge to plow through my stash of yarn and to make soft things for the soft little human being we are awaiting any day now (or maybe not--can pregnancy be a permanent condition?).

I made the first hat from this pattern out of some Blue Sky Organic Cotton for the new addition to the family. I am enamoured with the idea of putting a home crafted article of clothing on our baby when she or he enters into the world. I only hope this one fits--it may be a little big.

I made that same pixie hat in fingering weight from this pattern for my friend's one year old. My handknits usually come out fairly large so I knit it for a newborn thinking it would fit a one year old--and it does!

Finally, I finished the Project Linus Security Blanket from Knitting for Peace also knit our of Blue Sky Alpaca Organic Cotton.

I have a few more projects in the works too. Ahh, knitting therapy... There is nothing like it.